I think i'm really stupid. I wish I didn't need to sleep so I can study so i'll be less stupid :(
Like Idk why but some people think i'm smart but actually i'm really not. I just work very hard maybe? And the results i have now is kind of like my maximum and i kind of know that many many people around me is going to do better than me for the O's.
Cause I'm pretty sure i'm not going to do much better for my Olevels. I just hope i won't do worse than this.

It happens to me all the time.
I always underperform for major exams it makes me sad but idk why. Its not cuz i'm nervous or anything. Bad luck??? Also can't be what.
PSLE was one. Basically everyone did better for their PSLE than their prelims. I was the opposite. I deproved by near 20 marks :( Yah lah mad means i got around 270 BUT ITS TRUE.
And Olevel Chinese was another. My chinese hasn't been very good all the while but neither has it been really bad. But the whole class got A1 and i got a 2. Its really depressing and its not just the comparing with others that makes me sad its the thing that I know i could have done better and that sucks. Its all cause i didn't finish my Paper 1 and cause of that i feel like jumping down the building everytime someone/thing reminds me of my Olevel Chinese grade. Okay not really.
At first i thought it was okay. But then a 1 is like worlds apart from a 2 and it just makes me so :(

I know i shouldn't cling on to the stupid belief that I will do worse for my O's because the more i think it will happen the more likely it will happen. But idk its just me.
Oh well. I just have to work doubly hard but how i'm going to do that i'm not very sure.
I just hope that working hard will really bring me somewhere.