okay.
today got back exam marks.
and i'm so depressed.
i mean,for eng math chi sci ,my average is like 56.56
(4 significant figures~~~)
and i'm so damned dead.
its like i think i'm the lowest in class or something.
all the ppl i ask around even if this particular subject they lower than me then the rest of the subject they higher than me.BY A LOT.
i'm not trying to compete or what luh.
but then this exam i studied the most hard luh.in my whole life~~
even more than PSLE.
PSLE i studied like 5 days before or even less.
this time i know i a lot of thing to study so i studied AT LEAST 10 days in advance.
some ppl like BL last minute revise can get like highest for science-.-
AND I PAY ATTENTION IN CLASS OKAY?!
~~sometimes~~
i really feel like crying lah.
budden boh tears.
pri sku i very easily always cry derh.
this year maybe all tears dry up le.
and it feels worse not being able to cry out :'(
so i stuff myself with food.
but the food in my house is so damn disgusting.
so i vomited everything out.
and what a great way to destress yah.
geesh.
my parents all not at home so they dun know of it yet.
i dunno what will happen to me when they do.
they expect my chinese and maths to be that bad luh.
but eng? its like my best subj(i think)
and i passed merely by 1mark.
junting got same as me.
and she failed her maths,less than me by 10.0 marks(3sigfig)
but to equal it out she scored so much higher than me in her chinese
budden she win me by 9marks for science luh.
and hanyu was blabbering behind me with her 84%science paper going"ohh i want 1 more mark,i seriously want 1 more mark so i can be same as faith"
i really wan kiap her frigging bun xia.
i was sure i cant remain 1b for very long liao.
but then i din know i will score so badly until i cant even squeeze myself in 2c or 2d.
i'm definitely going either 2e or worse.
and dunno hu will be same class as me lah.
and to think i can be top in class for no reason in term1 when i didnt even revise AT ALL.
did i like become stupider as the year passed or something?
i think the higher you climb up the damned ahs hill,
the stupider you become.
i was mugging like hell for this exam so i could have like a teeny tiinny chance of squeezing in 2b so i can be on 1st floor.
but after the 3day holiday when i finally got over the fact that i have to climb 5floors everyday to 2c or 2d,
i got this horrible results.
i really feel like dying now lah.
sometimesireallyhatemyself